Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
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I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
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You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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