your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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