you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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