I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
