So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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