I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
