at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
When are your genitals available?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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