I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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