Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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