There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Can you bring me the toilet please
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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