Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
