i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
