Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
