Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize