But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
