who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
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After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
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Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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