He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
