But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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