She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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