Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
