So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
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She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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