i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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