I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
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Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
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I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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