One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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