your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
