y did u give ur computer a hand job?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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