I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
