fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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