Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
