He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
