none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
