So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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