can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
