how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
