I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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