Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I am naked and annoyed.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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