just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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