Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
