Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
