have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
