when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize