you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
