I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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