She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize