Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
