I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
