Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
