Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
