You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
