Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
