k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
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