her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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