I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
