Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
vagina is talking i cant
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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