Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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