Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize