you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize