I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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