New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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