I love black thongs
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
