Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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