You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
