he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
if i died would you start the facebook group?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
