I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
