Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
