We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
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Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
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Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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