Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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