i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
