Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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