My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize